A History Lesson

    In many western cultures the date of April 1st is celebrated in a strangely weird and mysteriously odd way as well as being peculiarly unusual. Although this day is not an official holiday, it is most notable for tricksters playing pranks and practical jokes on each other and also pulling off misleading hoaxes and deceptive ruses. This is no joke. Seriously.

    One might ask why we are doing this and what the origin is of this widely practiced custom. If one does, one is stuffed in a broom closet and being called a fuddy-duddy. Now that we got rid of one, I will tell you.

    According to many historians there are a variety of possible historical origins. Professor Joseph Boskik, a notorious jokester of the Boston University has put forward a theory that the practice began in ancient Rome, during the reign of Emperor Constantine. A group of court jesters and fools, better known as the US Congress, declared to the Emperor that they could run the Roman Empire better then he did. Constantine then allowed one of the jesters named Dave Barry to become Emperor for a day, and the jester decreed that the day should be filled with absurdity.

    Then there is a reference in the story The Nun’s Priest’s Tale, part of Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. The story recounts the adventures of two fools, a fox and a rooster who go to Hollywood and make it big. All this takes place “Thritty days and two” from the beginning of March, which of course is April 1st. Hollywood having more then its fair share of fools seems to confirm the historical accuracy of this story.

    In 1564 King Charles IX of France decreed that January 1st would be the start of the New Year, instead of on April 1st as was the custom in that time. Some of the French people did not hear of this decree and celebrated New Year on April 1st anyway, having parties, dropping balls on Times Square and generally getting stupefyingly drunk on wine with too much antifreeze in it. These people were widely ridiculed and called poisson d’avril (poisoned April) and dead fish were placed on their backs. I would try to explain that, but I can’t.

    I have discovered the real origin. It lies in the Netherlands, where in 1572 much of the country was under the rule of Spain’s King Phillip II. Many Dutch rebels, also called Geuzen (meaning beggars), managed to seize the small but strategically important town of Den Briel from the Spanish Duke of Alba, the commander of the Spanish army. That is why Alba lost his glasses (Bril being the Dutch word for glasses), and the Dutch celebrate this with humor on April 1st when many Dutch children are singing 1 April, kikker in je bil, die d’r nooit meer uit wil (April 1st, frog in your butt that won’t come out). I would try to explain that, but I can’t. Still, this is no joke. Seriously.

 

Why are we doing this anyway?

    I am going to assume most of my readers are not totally oblivious to today’s date and the fact it is generally recognized as Valentine’s Day. For the rest of you, you are either single, or you will be shortly, unless you get your butt in gear and go buy some chocolates and the pitiful remains of whatever passes for flowers after all other desperate shoppers got there before you.

    So, why are we doing this? What compels us to spend our hard earned money in a vain attempt to prove to our significant other that we love them by buying them overpriced flowers that will turn into brown muck before the end of the week? We do it because it is tradition, it is expected of us and if we don’t, we find ourselves sleeping on the couch. 

    Who do we blame for this tradition?

    Some say Valentine’s Day is named after Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni. Although it is possible they were actually the same person. Either way, they are both dead. And death is not very romantic so that can’t have anything to do with it.

    Another possibility is fertility festivals celebrated in ancient times around mid-February. To begin such a festival, a priest would gather all the villagers and sacrifice a goat. The boys of the village would then take strips of goat hide and slap the girls they liked. I am not sure about you, but I would not want to date any woman whose idea of romance is being slapped with bloody goat hide.

    Then there is the English poet Geoffrey Chaucer. Apparently back in 1382 he wrote these lines:
    For this was on seynt Volantynys day 
    Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.
If I attempt to translate that to modern English, it seems to have something to do with birds making cheese on Valentine’s Day. We move on.

    In the early 1800’s a bookstore owned by the Howland family in Worcester, Massachusetts started making and selling embossed paper lace Valentine’s Day cards. In the middle of the 20th century people started exchanging gifts, candy and flowers as well. And in the 1980’s the diamond industry pushed jewelry as a way of saying “I Love You”.

    And there we have it people. Stores selling cards, flowers, candy and jewelry are to blame for Valentine’s Day. It’s all about getting their greedy little fingers on the money.

    I’d suggest boycotting them, but I don’t want to sleep on the couch tonight.

    So, I wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to my readers. I love you all.
 
  

A Treatise on Bleating

    Welcome to my first post. Yes, I too succumbed to the blogging mania that sweeps the world. Another blogger and another blog added to the millions already out there.

    So, what difference can I make? What pearls of wisdom do I have to dispense? Do I have something sensible and worthwhile to say? Do I have anything new and exciting to offer?  Of course I do! Absolutely! This is going to be wonderful; an adrenalin filled rollercoaster ride of breathtaking prose, filled with a veritable wonderland of enlightenment inducing brilliant insights. That or I found out how the thesaurus function works in this word processor thingy here.

    I have been told to write what you know. But that would make for a very short blog. Instead I figure I’d write about technological advancements, cool websites, software development, maybe some light science and other geeky stuff. Whatever I can steal from other bloggers and rewrite it so I won’t get sued for plagiarism. And, of course I have to add my own social commentary; it just wouldn’t feel right not spouting my own arrogant assumptions on how the world treats me unfairly.

    So, here I am; another blogging sheep, falling in with the flock. I am just following the sheep in front of me and chiming in with whatever bleating seems most trendy in the here and now. Maybe I am but another grain of sand on a beach, another snowflake in Antarctica, another speck of dust in the universe. But in the meantime you are wasting your precious little time on this earth by reading all the way to the end of this bleating. And I thank you for that.